Cape May

I have been coming to Cape May in the summers since I was a kid. This is the 15th year that we have come to this particular motel with my parents for the 4th of July. We started when Liv was 2. Last year was a horrific trip, with my mom passing out and vomiting while unconscious and winding up in the hospital. Her memory continues to get worse and my father continues to put off retiring, or stepping up to do what’s necessary to help her. It is really frustrating. Yesterday, we had rain here. My sister, Cathy, went to Walmart with my parents. She told my father to stay with my mother while she went to buy what she came for. My father, AGAIN, walked away from her and my mom started walking around looking for them and got lost. It was a huge store and it took a while for my sister and father to find my mom. My sister was furious at him and he knew it. It is very hard to deal with this. Tim and I have been doing the “in sickness and in health” thing pretty much our whole relationship. My parents were lucky enough not to have to deal with that until their kids were all grown and they even have adult grandkids now. Still, my father refuses to do what he should be doing and puts on a martyr act for us as to how much he has to deal with. He rolls his eyes and is impatient with her. It’s infuriating. SUCK IT UP, Dad. If it were you who was losing your faculties, she’d be taking care of you, without a complaint to be heard.

We have a lot of great memories of this place. We all love Cape May. Things are very different now though, and it’s hard not to miss how things once were. My mother used to love the beach. She won’t go now, just stays by the pool at the motel. We have to watch her all the time as she will see something and just mosey over there without letting anyone know. One minute she was with us as we walked an outdoor shopping mall, the next minute, she was gone, we found her in the Fudge shop. 15 years ago, we were watching a 2 year old like a hawk in the crowds, now, we’re watching my 72 year old mom. Life is hard. And how do we get our father to retire and step up to the plate and do what’s right here, without it causing a confrontation? He doesn’t want to do it. He can, he is not incapable. He just doesn’t want to. Very selfish. OY. Lotsa changes going on, many of them are not the good kind. :o(

Last night, we ran into a family that we used to spend a lot of time with here. We travelled with them for years, (both of our families had trailers.) They have retired now and own a house here, as well as in Florida and they still own their house in northwestern NJ. They spend 4 months at each place. We have not seen them in years and it was great to see them. They have hardly changed, are obviously quite comfortable financially, and enjoying their retirement. The differences were hard for me to see. My parents have changed a whole lot, and their retirement years do not look nearly as rosy. Gotta make the best of it, I suppose. What else can ya do?