I started writing my blog in the year 2000 focusing on the falsehoods I found in the media, thus the name Deludia. In 2008 when I was diagnosed with Stage III+ Multiple Myeloma and was given a six month prognosis, I used it to chronicle what it was like to be me (or anyone, really) who was going to die and could see it coming. I was revealing enough that some family and friends were annoyed by the level of personal information I was revealing as I attempted to help people understand the situations and circumstances that had bearing on how I felt. But I figured that it wasn’t going to last very long and that being so open about everything might help others understand not just the physical elements of the illness, but the emotional as well.
Obviously I didn’t die on the schedule that the teams of VA and private care doctors predicted. And then it was like the old joke, “the doctor game me six months to live and when he found out I couldn’t come up with the money for his bill, he gave me another six months.” At the end of the six months, the doctors said “Okay, NOW you only have six months.” And I not only outlived it, but having treatments aborted because they were doing damage and not doing any good, I began to improve. While bone pain persisted and slowly grew as the cancer spread, in all other respects I was remarkably healthy.
Still blogging away, it seemed a bit pointless to go on and on about my woeful edge of death situation and I began to write about other things. I wrote reminiscences from my youth and wrote stories and the occasional opinion piece. I wrote less and less about Multiple Myeloma because there really wasn’t much to say. In terms of treatments, while there were a few analogs of existing therapies that were somewhat plagued less by side effects, for the most part it was the same old story. Lots of blogs and media outlets regurgitated the same stories over and over and I found it all very boring. A couple of things presented the possibility of game change, but any human trials were way far off in the future, far enough that I certainly won’t be around when they are ready for prime time, assuming they ever are.
The thing is though, when it became apparent that I wasn’t going to pass away, my readership dropped by almost 90%. I kept on writing, mostly as something to do. But in all of the writing I did, now over 1500 articles, I never had a lot of reader interaction in spite of a lot of effort on my part to encourage it, even to the point of connecting my blog to a variety of social sites to make it easier on the readers. Still, it grew quieter and quieter.
So I am asking those of you who do read my blog to speak up. What would you like to see here? War stories? Recollections from my younger days? Fictional stories? Medical Opinions and Experiences? Silence? I await your guidance; you can comment here, on Facebook or G+.