Deja Vu 2010 – RoidRage Rerun and other Treatment Plans

Hello again my Myeloma munching Dexamethasone… you are coming back into my life…
Paired with your friends Revlimid? Velcade? Cytoxan? and all those other cancer chomping chemos…
Ugghh… here we go again…

Hey body that has failed me —> I’m not looking forward to feeling yucky again!
I played being well for about 9 or so months while in remission and chemo free, until reality hit me again too soon.
Everyone says I am soo strong for handling this crazy cancer situation as I have
Honesty, I really am not that brave… 
I just do what I have to do, to gain additional years on my ever so shortened clock!

And so I am sick AGAIN!!!
Dang this awful IMMUNE SYSTEM CANCER
Have had the delightful intestinal virus (lower GI) with a fever over 102 for days
Been off work for a week slowly recovering my strength, trying to reintroduce food, but we are not best friends right now (not that we ever were anyway)!

I was really sick in August too
Now really sick again in October
Can’t I get a break??
Body betrayal status here!

I feel I am going downhill fast… and not on a horse or in my cute VW bug… but downhill on the cancer is winning again slide…
Just not fair to just SEE my horses out my window, although they’re happy just hanging out… and I think about my cute lil Bug in the driveway, just sitting there… such ironic torture I can’t go out and play as I seem to be always too weak or too tired to do much of anything anymore.
Yes I know… I am very blessed to even have them in my yard to be able to see!!!
Not to worry, I am very grateful for everything in my life (minus cancer!), I’m just a little pissed off right now and little beyond frustrated!!! ggggrrrrrr

And so, I’ve had to postpone taking my new crazy Dex steroids as the first leg of my Deja Vu pommel myeloma back into remission treatment plan… that’s ok, I wasn’t looking forward to that anyway!
But I will behave, and begin the cycle in a week when my body is stronger.

Uugghhh, can’t a girl get a break!
What is all this really about?
I just don’t get it!!!!!!!!!!!