My latest doctor visit left me with yet more decisions….
I’m feeling great! I feel alive I’m active, yet there always seems to be another master plan.
My labs are still stable, but after reviewing a long and dreaded MRI results, I say long and dreaded because there was a lot of drama arranging this appointment and getting my insurance to approve my lower pelvic, which I’ve had along with my spinal observation, so it was confusing why they were giving me an issue. Thankfully everything was cleared despite me having to come back to my hospital two separate days to do the exam as opposed to getting it done in one day.
Well the standing of the two prior lesions at the spinal area have not changed, but they did find faint viewing of two lesions now growing at the pelvic area. Did I mention a 3rd lesion at the lower spine disappeared from viewing and no longer exists……I’ll talk about that and having faith later!
So what does this mean….
More ^^%@#^ things that I want to deal with is what it means! I mean like really dude…
So we’ve concluded my blood work (which is a good thing)- is not the true deterrent in seeing what is happening in terms of my myeloma being aggressively active; however, the MRI is saying theirs a small change in activity and now we may need to re-look at treatment.
Hence Zometa, the dreaded bone strengthener. Dreaded because it’s in a form if IV every three months, and the proposed compromises to my body with ifs or maybe will I get the harsh side effects listed in terms of this medicine. The end of the year I’ll need to do a bone marrow biopsy and a petscan to check exactly if there’s need to be proactive in other areas as well. Again I’m young and active and quite frankly not having (knock on thin wood) issues that many other people in my predicament are experiencing. However, with that said I’m already nervous about the next steps ….
-does this now mean chemo
-does this now mean crazy side effects
-body changing more because of medicine
I was pissed and angry that here we go my flow and stable may now change because of this ongoing pest. The question of take Zometa or deal with a crack or fracture of the bone…..
I understand the importance of being proactive with the Zometa, but taking the medicine has always been something I’ve fought with my doctor for the past 3 years when it was presented on perhaps I should go on and take it before there was any issues- because what myeloma is teaching me is there will be issues sooner or later, but there will be issues. Depending on year ends developments my treatment plan may be zapping the area with radiation or the other dreaded drugs Revlimid, Thailidomide… I’m very familiar with the radiation process because of my treatment for my chest sternum some years back, so I know the devil of this walk rather the one of the actual drugs.
With this said I guess I must and can still say – I’m blessed and this is what I have to grill in my head despite the new developments. I’m alive, I’m breathing, I’m together- mentally and physically, therefore I’m so very blessed!
Zometa or Crack the choice is so obvious….. or is it?