The other day at exercise class, we worked out to an odd, sped-up, dance-mix version of Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name.” Later that day, my friend Lauri, who is also a Bon Jovi fan and who is also in the exercise class, texted me to tell me she had to rush home and listen to real Bon Jovi to get the faux Bon Jovi out of her head.
It took me almost an entire day, but then it dawned on me that someday I will manage a Bon Jovi cover band, and I will call it … wait for it …
Although Bon Faux-vi was perhaps the greatest idea I’d ever had, Lauri told me her husband wants to start a Bon Jovi cover band where they all play banjos, and he will call it Banjo-vi. I have to admit, Banjo-vi is even better than Bon Faux-vi because, well, it has banjos.
There is a Bon Jovi cover band based in the Kansas City area called Bob Jovi. I tried to go see them play at an outdoor concert last summer. If you’ll recall, last summer we were in the middle of the worst drought that Missouri has seen in at least 10,000 years*, but right in the middle of the Bob Jovi concert the heavens opened wide and we were all instantly drenched right in the middle of “It’s My Life.” The band had to quit and seek shelter for their ’80s hairstyles, and we had to sprint through the rain to our cars. Did this happen because God was punishing Bob Jovi for failing to call themselves Bon Faux-vi? Or because they failed to play banjos? It’s impossible to know. The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
*I’m estimating. There’s a chance this might not be the correct number of years.