POST #6 – Look Ma, No Hair

Today I finished Post #5 and Post #6 to my blog. 

What a difference a day makes. 24 Little Hours. My scalp had been sensitive / sore / tingling for days.. and bingo, the hair started to go. I expected it of course, and Thursday morning I’m brushing my hair..it just wouldn’t stop coming out as I repeatedly cleaned my hairbrush. I was sort of chuckling at the whole thing. Running my fingers through my hair..and then lightly holding on at the end..and about 50 strands would come out in between my thumb and index finger. Long strands with that little root blob at the end.  It was like a trick. “Hey, look what I can do!”

It took me back to my childhood when I’d play with a doll that had bad hair, or perhaps was a cheap doll..the hair would just come out when brushed. Being an obsessively neat player-with-dolls..they always had to look nice…so I had to be gentle with such dolls. But this was wild—it was my hair!

My scalp didn’t hurt any more or any less as my hair came out. My scalp just plain hurt, and lying on a pillow at night wasn’t fun either, plus, I’d wake up to a layer of hair across the pillow case. How delightful. I took a few pics for posterity—really bad news. Not even blog-worthy. All I could think of was that I looked kind of like an Amish boy (though an aging, yet girly Amish boy), with the blunt cut hair, missing on top. But my Amish boy hair was not orderly. My hair came out in hunks. Uneven hunks. It was not a becoming “do” on moi.

Now I don’t think losing one’s hair is really so bad at all, in  the grand scheme of things, as most natural hair loss occurs evenly, and gradually. Not overnight and  “KAZAM!” People may have “thinning hair” or for men, usually on top, it may fade over time. (As an aside, I think bald / balding men are every bit as sexy as ones with hair.)

What expedited this process was my final hair-washing..and I ended up literally brushing most of my hair out of my head. Talk about a hairball. We’re talking Guinness World Record level hairball.
On top of this, I had a two-day migraine, unrelated to my cancer medication. Just another thing that I get now and then..so, that wasn’t fun—coupled with my state of hairballage.

So, I sported my girly Amish boy look for about three days, weathered a migraine and donned a little turban type cap to make my head more comfortable and to also serve as a hair-catcher (sigh). I couldn’t take it any longer. I was shedding like a dog. Hair everywhere. It was nuts. So, today, Sunday September 27, I spent two hours removing what was left. I wanted all it GONE. What a job. I had no idea what it would take to shave one’s head. Holy moly.

I didn’t do this to make some statement, or pound my chest that I am woman with cancer and I’m shaving my head. It was just something that felt right, and I was determined. No tears (though I did have a tear during the first day of Amish boy hair hunk-outs…ugh..), I’m pretty satisfied with my new “do” or “un-do” as it is.  And WOW!.. Think of the dollars to be saved on hair “product”, hair cuts and hair lightening processes. (At least for a while anyway.) I have my new wig at home and it can wait there for me when I return. For now..I have scarves and such which are fine. And there’s always the au naturel look — I may even try that as well. So, here I be in a cell phone pic, un-retouched as they say:

Monday September 28 I start back at Hershey and have an I.V. of a medication called Velcade for a few hours. It’s another chemo that may give me a side effect of numbness in fingertips/toes.. possibly some nausea, but that’s TBA. We’ll see. It’s a Monday / Thursday regimen for the next two weeks.

At least today I feel great.

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