Did you notice?
Tuesday night September 18 was a stunning full moon!
My “PonyPal” daughters Alissa and Courtney came home from college to moonlight ride with me!
Check that, Bucket List!!
Grooming fuzzy Buckskin, Black and Red-Appy spotted coats in the moonlight
Combing out knotted silky manes and tails
Breathing in sweet horse scents, under oak tree umbrellas
Breathing in life
In the full brilliant white moon
Chatting, laughing, reminiscing, hugging, catching up
Grooming, brushing, saddling
Chatting, laughing, taking pictures…
Giggling and being goofy like a decade ago
Nostalgic memories permeating the crisp almost fall night
Pretending no worries, carefree retrospective momentary innocence
Saddle pads centered
Saddles on
Cinches cinched
Bridles and reins secured
Cowgirl up!
Silly as it sounds, we rode loops around the barn in the backyard
Circling only a small area, just like kids on pony rides
But it meant the world to me
Horses and humans in perfect sync
It was a huge full moon
Like a bright flashlight shinning down from the heavens
An incredible night beyond description
Sweet sublime memories permanently etched deep
Sealed in our psyches for safe forever keeping
And then
Just 14 hours later
We are whizzing down LA freeways
Navigating traffic craziness
Cars colliding, complicating our route
Destination: downtown Kaiser, bone marrow transplant hematology oncology
Reason: out of remission status appointment
15 hours after riding carefree, I am discussing my body’s betrayal
Discussing upcoming chemo treatment options
Discussing…
Cancer that is back
Cancer that is coursing again through and in my blood
Cancer called Myeloma, that is trying to terminate my moonlight rides and terminate me
15 and half hours after laughing, giggling, reminiscing, grooming, and being so carefree
I am suddenly surprised with a stinging intense Bone Marrow Aspiration and Biopsy
I am in physical pain
I sob more from what it means, than what it feels like
15 and half hours from beautiful, silly, joyful merriment in the moonlight
I am being pounded and punctured in my hip bone
Expert, precise, caring, knowing surgical hands
Piercing, drilling, stinging deep into my being
Medical tools invading and drawing out my bone marrow
Soon to define and determine
Myeloma’s status within me
15 hours ago I was so very very happy and falsely worry free
15 and a half hours ago I was surprised with a spontaneous 4th bone marrow biopsy
My heart and mind is racing
As soon, biopsy results will tell all
It’s a full moon tonight, tomorrow, this weekend
Did you notice?
I did!
Thank you always, to those of you reading and following my crazy MM journey. I deeply appreciate your expressions of love, concern, caring and comments. Deep heartfelt gratitude :)
Next blog:
Biopsy results
Treatment options and decisions