It has been eight years ago today since I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma.
October 29, 2008 will forever be etched in my memory as the day that changed the course of my life.
On the one hand, it was as if…
To my father, my brother, my mother-in-law, my grandparents, and many other family members and friends. This is what I believe!
It has been six and a half years since I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. Three and a half years since I finished treatment and maintenance, and 7 months since I was finally able to get off all pain medication. Over the p…
The sun has been shining over the past several weeks and
|Even Tabitha helped water the tomatoes.
We planted 300 tomato plants as well as onions, peppers, watermelons,
|Kirby and Zoey enjoyed the outdoors too,|
|Here are a “few good men outstanding in their field.”|
|Trent always works better while listening to a few good tunes
on his headphones.
See the blue beehive in the background?
That’s the new home of 30,000 bees
thanks to my son-in-law and
another one of his new hobbies.
|What a great life I have!
The views from
of my mountain
I am learning to live joyfully in the moment!
Every few months or so I make the same stupid mistake.
just get so frustrated with my poor health,
never ending infections and PAIN, that
I just decide to throw it all
I mean literally and figuratively!
Lately I have been dealing with nausea from too many antibiotics
resulting in stomach aches and another ulcer.
My liver decided to quit functioning properly.
So a few weeks
ago I had a liver biopsy.
The Liver doctor inserted a long
needle between the ribs
on my right side and pulled out a sample of
tissue to be examined.
(it was not nearly as painful as I had imagined-thank goodness)
It's been over three long anxious weeks and
have not received any results.
The nurse did tell me over the phone that
it's not likely cancer
from the lab report she read (whew).
But still I
must continue to wait! Very frustrating!!
So to sum it all up.
I am sick of being sick!
Yesterday I decided
Instead of getting out my 2/day pill box filled with antibiotics,
pills for this side effect and another for
effect of that side effect,
as well as a host of vitamins and
I just gave up and threw the box up onto the shelf.
tore off my pain patch and decided it was all in my head.
reason I am always tired, have no appetite and can't sleep
sleep enough is just because of all these stupid drugs!
At 2am I woke up in PAIN.
It hurt from my toes up to my nose.
My body was stiff and grating.
I managed to hobble to the bathroom to
get a drink. "I can do this,"
I said giving myself a pep
talk, I turned my iPod on,
plugged in my ear phones and forced myself to
go back to sleep
while listening to my " middle of the night, lull me
to sleep music".
It finally worked for a couple hours
until the pain
grew and gnawed me awake.
I lay there gathering my thoughts and then
finally my strength to do what I had to do.
I hobbled back to the bathroom pulled down my pill box,
took the few most important pills including a pain pill.
I grabbed a
new pain patch and slapped it on my back.
I gave up and gave in.
I gave up the idea that my poor health is all
in my head.
That the pain is just imagined,
and that because I am in
the effects of fighting it have disappeared.
And I gave in to the fact that I can not do this on my own.
(as my husband says) "It is what it is."
My body has pain and my body
is still trying to heal.
I can not run away from that fact.
gave my pain and my problems up in prayer.
I pleaded for strength and courage to continue.
I need medication. I need faith.
I need strength from my Father in Heaven.
When I quit fighting against the pain, and
give in to what I must do.
When I give up my pride in trying to do it all my own,
and lean on the Lord for help,
I gather the strength to continue
climbing this multiple myeloma mountain.
Here is one of my favorite hymns.
"How Firm a Foundation"
3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am
thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and
cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
Last Monday was my six-month check-up at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. I do a lot of breathing that day.
Hellooo, I’m back. I have stopped and started several posts over the past few months. I could say I have had writers block but my reasons for not writing have not been from a lack of what to write but rather from feeling overwhelmed with ha…
Thanks Mom, Dad, Joe, Tyler, Dani, Trevor, Mallory and to all those who continue to love me through this mountain that I face. You give me courage and hope as this journey continues.
|My son Jace who is serving an LDS mission in Puerto Rico|
|Tabi and I enjoying a local Halloween celebration on Main Street.
We passed out 80lbs. of candy from our martial arts studio!